Chasing Unicorns: What I Choose to Remember about Boston 2013

The Boston Marathon 2013 was left in a wave of tragedy due to two bombs at the finish line that killed 3 and injured over 170 runners and spectators. In order to heal from the emotional trauma, I have chosen to focus on the positive, to focus on the joy of my race, the joy of running my first Boston Marathon, which in my opinion is the best marathon in the world. I cannot remember a portion of the course where people weren't cheering. The energy of the city of Boston on marathon day is contagious!

I never knew much about the Boston Marathon, or marathons for that matter, until I joined my running club, VCTC. Always up for a challenge, and inspired by my teammates, I vowed to qualify, and began mapping out a plan on how to obtain a BQ (Boston Qualifying time). I trained hard and was fortunate it only took me two marathons prior to qualifying. Despite injury and being undertrained, I was beyond excited to run this incredible race. My friend Elena and I arrived the day before the race and headed straight to the expo. All I could talk about was buying my first Boston jacket. I couldn't wait to proudly wear it after crossing the finish line.

Giant Meatballs...RRRRUUUNNN!!! 

That night was filled with normal race preparations. Setting aside our race outfits, packing our post-race bag, eating a carb-hearty dinner. We went to bed early and got up even earlier in order to catch the bus to the Athlete's Village. I was tired from not sleeping well and cold from lack of packing warm enough pre-race attire, but so excited it didn't matter. Surprisingly, despite the huge crowds, I found my teammate Carlos, with whom I had planned to run. We never found each other at the NYC Half, so I was elated to see him knowing we would head to the start together. It was nice to hang out with friends for a while. Even nicer was the small moment of silence the entire Village took in memory of the Newtown victims. In fact the race was dedicated to them, and out of respect, instead of a starting gun, the race was to begin with the blowing of a horn.

Athlete's Village and ready to go!!!

When it was time for the first wave of runners to head to the start, Carlos and I said our good-byes to Elena, who would be starting 20 minutes later, and walked over. The butterflies in our bellies began to flutter and our hearts began to race with nerves. But we didn't have long to wait before the horn went off and it was time to run. Our goal was to attempt a sub-3, something that we decided only the week before. Up until that point we had planned to run easy so I didn't really take the time to taper. Now we were trying to run at a 6:52 pace. Knowing that the beginning of the course was quite downhill with some hard hills, the famous Newton hills, starting at mile 16, we decided we could run a bit faster, but not so hard to blow out our quads later in the race. So, we set out at a 6:45 pace. I had a blast from the beginning. It was quite crowded, but after a couple of miles it opened up and we didn't have to weave through the bottleneck.

There were so many people out cheering, it was unbelievable. So many ecstatic children. To see their excitment as you slapped their hands. The little girls cheering "it's a girl!". Little runners in the making. It was incredible! One of my favorite parts was running past the Wellesley girls at mile 12. There were so many signs. The cheering was unreal! I got so caught up in the excitment, I even thought about stopping for a kiss...

• Kiss me! YOLO!
• Kiss me! I'm a black belt!
• Kiss me! I play lacross!
• Kiss me! I'm sexually frustrated!

We held onto our goal pace until about mile 14. At that point, I was starting to feel low on energy. Whether is was due to my one week taper, lack of sleep, lack of fitness, or inadequate nutrition, I don't know. Carlos was also hurting as he was completely dehydrated from testing out the 26.2 beer the night before. Yeah, only Carlos would drink in excess the night before his first Boston...silly boy. He slowed down more than I and told me to go ahead, so I did. As the miles ticked by, I knew I wasn't going to make it in sub-3 anymore, and I knew I wouldn't beat my PR of 3:01:25. So I decided to just run what my body wanted, to run comfortably, to enjoy the Newton hills and the experience.

I had mentally split the race up into 3 sections: miles 1-16, then 16-21 with the Newton hills, followed by 21-26 all the way to the finish. I had a friend from another running club waiting at mile 17 to take pictures and then my club was at the top of Heartbreak Hill at mile 21. Those were my points of focus to get through the hills. On top of my new favorite quote thanks to Elena "Hurts doesn't mean you're going to die". Anytime something ached, because at this point my left arch and knee were hurting for some reason, I repeated this mantra in order to keep my legs moving.

Smiling around mile 17! Running Happy!

I was definatally exctatic to see Bob Cowin from the NY Flyers shortly after mile 17 with his camera. As requested, I flashed him a great big smile. He captures some wonderful moments through the lens! Thanks Bob, this is better than any of the professional pics! Then it was time to focus on getting to mile 21. I crested Heartbreak Hill and couldn't find my team. They ended up sitting a bit farther down. When I saw the purple sweatshirt on a pole and Coach Ken standing on a chair I began to smile with excitement. Then I saw the ladies, Jill and Bette. I beamed and sped up. I flew down the next hill. As I flew I passed a teammate, a fellow speedy runner. We both exerted words of encouragement to eachother. I kept running. The miles ticked by and the finish line was getting closer. I cannot verbalize the excitment I felt as I turned onto Boylston Street and saw the finish line standing tall. The streets lined with people. The cheering louder than ever. I ran with tunnel vision to the finish, speeding up with excitment, focused on that moment of victory. Crossing that finish line was pure joy! Some people cry, I just smiled from ear to ear. We got mylar blankets to keep warm in the cool breeze, then the famous unicorn medal. The photographers were out in full force. I was stopped 3 times for a finishing picture. Felt like a star! 

As with most marathons, we had to walk a great distance to get our bags. I was lucky to run into other teammates and have company through the torturous journey. My legs were a bit stiff, but loosened up quickly. I know I didn't push as hard as I could have, but I enjoyed my race and still ran an amazing time. I am always so serious about my race times, but have realized that time isn't everything. Sometimes it's about the experience, the lessons learned. It all makes you a stronger athlete. In the end, I am very proud of my accomplishment, especially in light of my resent illness and inadquate training. This was my first Boston and I will relish in the glory of crossing the finish line! As soon as I did, I knew I couldn't wait until Boston 2014. See you in Hopkinton!

Chasing Unicorns: A Run Happy Day Ending in Tragedy

The Boston Marathon began in 1897, inspired by the success of the original marathon at the 1986 Summer Olympics. It was to be run annually as a celebration of Patriot's Day, through a modified version of the original route of battle. For many years, it was the only big marathon in the world, so everyone wanted to run it, including all the greats, making it universally recognized as the best. The history of this race, the world's oldest marathon, is frequently lost in the notoriety of the event. Running the Boston Marathon is often the highlight of many runner's accomplishments. They sometimes spend years training and racing before acquiring that highly sought after BQ (Boston qualifying time). Then when the fateful day comes of running this famed race, they cross the finish line in tears, with necks ready to hold the beloved unicorn medal awarded to all finishers of the Boston Marathon.

This year, approximately 23,000 runners approached the Boston Marathon starting line, but only three quarters were able to finish. As the race clock hit 4:08:52 at 2:50 p.m., a bomb exploded at the finish line and about 12 seconds later another one exploded about 100 yards away. Immediately, emergency personnel fled to the scene, tearing down the race course barricade in order to attend to fallen victims. In the end 3 people died and over 170 were physically injured.

At that time, I had finished the race by over an hour and was safely in a hotel room with some of my teammates. I remember hearing the first explosion, then another in what seemed to me minutes later. We thought it was construction, but one of my teammates, of whom works for the UN and has often traveled to war torn regions thought otherwise. We looked out the window onto Exeter Street towards Boylston Street. Everyone was running and screaming. I saw a father quickly usher his children to safety around the corner. Emergency sirens were blaring. The Boston Marathon sign along the race barricade was being torn down. A few dazed runners continued towards the finish line. Smoke began billowing down the street. The race barricade was being torn down. More sirens and the appearance of police on motorcycles. No more runners. We had no idea what had happened, but knew it was bad. One minute, we were discussing our races as we put on fresh clothes, the next, we were flicking threw TV channels in hopes the news would tell us something, but there was nothing.

I immediately called my friend who was on her way to the hotel to meet me. Thankfully she was okay, but what about all the other people on the course? My teammates and friends? I had solace that the teammates I was with were safe, but no idea where the others were. I think there were about 11 VCTC members running, and I could only account for half of them. Not to mention people I knew from other teams. I also had a friend cheering at mile mark 26, and others somewhere close to the finish.

We went down stairs to the hotel lobby and the news was finally discussing what happened, showing gruesome pictures of the scene. All I wanted was to gather with my teammates. To know that they were safe. As the hotel staff were preparing to lockdown the building, we snuck out onto the streets and headed to our pre-determined post-race gathering location on Dartmouth Street. Walking along the streets was both scary and surreal. I was in a daze and my phone was chiming nonstop. I had multiple text messages, Facebook notes, and voicemails. I was able to call home as we walked and let my family know I was okay. Then I wasn't able to make anymore phone calls. The cell signal was down.

As we walked, tentatively, yet quickly to our destination, I kept my eyes peeled to make sure we stayed together, stopping anytime someone was diverted in the crowd. I can't explain the feeling once we got to the bar and gathered with the others. We got a table in the basement, which felt safe. Yet, we sat in front of a large screen TV displaying more images of the tragedy. I ate out of extreme hunger having run 26.2 miles a couple hours earlier, but was astonished, shocked, at what had happened. As we sat there, we discussed the event and worked on tracking down all our runners. While walking there, I had posted a roll-call on our club Facebook page so we could keep track of everyone, which proved very helpful. In the end, we found out that everyone was safe. Some had already headed home, some crossed the finish line by 20 minutes, others by a mere 5 minutes. I also found out that my friend at mile 26, had luckily avoided physical harm, however, she was witness to the horrific injuries.

After eating, we all rushed out of the bar and headed to our vehicles in order to flee the city. Walking through the streets was, again, nerve racking. I was worried the whole city would be grid locked, or worse, shut down, and we wouldn't be able to get out. Luckily, that wasn't the case. As soon as we got in the car, after charging our dying phones, I began returning all the messages that sat untouched. I was glued to my phone most of the way home. It was a pretty silent ride as we were both in extreme shock.

The next morning, I had to go to work. I think I was still in shock. I discussed the event briefly with watery eyes, but it wasn't until I was on the train home that I couldn't control the tears. And the next morning wasn't any better. Each day has been different. The emotions come and go. Sometimes sadness. Sometimes guilt. Other times anger. I feel guilty for not running to the scene and utilizing my medical skills to help. I feel guilty for sitting down to a warm meal while people were suffering. I understand that I likely wouldn't have been allowed back on the course. That there was a large number if medical volunteers at the finish who fled to the scene. And had I been there when it happened, I would have dove in. But I wasn't, I was safe in a hotel. And in that moment, it was important to gather with my running family and attempt to digest what had happened. To feel comforted as a team.

My heart goes out to all the victims and there family members. Victims not only of the physical violence, but the emotional. My heart goes out to all the runners who were stopped a mile before the finish. Those runners were never awarded with the joy of crossing the finish line, they were robbed of that luxury. From the moment I crossed the finish line I couldn't wait to run Boston again. And even now, I can't wait to go back. But next year, I will be running in memory of all those who suffered. And that goes for the next year and the next year. I will run the Boston Marathon for as long as I qualify.

I had to share this from Runner's World a beautiful perspective on the sport of running:

"It's the only sport in the world where if a competitor falls, the others around will pick him or her up. It's the only sport in the world open to absolutely everyone, regardless of gender, age, ethnicity or any other division you can think of. It's the only occasion when thousands of people assemble, often in a major city, for a reason that is totally peaceful, healthy and well-meaning. It's the only sport in the world where no one ever boos anybody."

And this from Amby Burfoot

"Winning is not about headlines and hardware [medals]. It's only about attitude. A winner is a person who goes out today and every day and attempts to be the best runner and best person he can be. Winning is about struggle and effort and optimism, and never, ever, ever giving up."

Everybody who ran Boston last week is a winner regardless as to when or if they crossed the finish line!

Boston here I come

This morning while running a slow recovery I was asked when my next race is. I replied "Monday". And then was asked, "Oh, what race is that?" This made me laugh hysterically. I am so used to most runners around me at the moment being so Boston focused. This came from quite a phenomenal runner. But of course if you aren't running it, you don't always remember....and it was super early in the morning.

As Boston rapidly approaches I can't decide if I want to race or just have fun. However, in the wisdom of my coach, Jonathan Cane, "...as if racing and fun are mutually exclusive". So my response to this was "I guess I mean I can't decide how much pain I want". Racing or running easy will be fun, but racing will for sure be exponentially more painful!

I have wanted to run Boston ever since I first started racing in 2010. That year, I ran my first marathon, NYC, in 3:50:51. I had hoped to run a BQ, but being my first marathon and such a newbie to road racing, I died at mile 20. Then shortly after NYC, I injured my hamstring, crushing my dream of qualifying in the spring. So I set out researching fast fall marathons and embarked on training for Wineglass 2011. I hired a personal trainer to rehab my hamstring (Albert Russo, I have to say is awesome!), added loads of cross training, and paid closer attention to my diet. I got faster and stronger. I felt confident on race day despite nasty weather. And I did indeed qualify! I ran a 3:23:32! The only catch, Boston registration had been closed for a week.

In retrospect, everything happens for a reason. The freak heat wave for Boston 2012 would have resulted in a very disappointing race. I would have been quite upset to put in 12 hard weeks of training, only to find I couldn't run to my potential in a race that means so much! Just my luck though, I got hit with another freak heat wave a month later while running Poconos 2012. I was definitely disappointed with the end result of a 3:24:25, but I did run-walk the last 8 miles due to melting in the scorching temps. I knew I had the potential to run a good deal faster, but it just wasn't my day.

My luck changed, however, for my fall 2012 marathon. I was picked for the St. George lottery, which was to be run on my birthday. I trained hard for this hilly course with a net downhill. It thrashed my quads, but in the end I ran a 3:01:25. So very close to a sub-3...my next goal. So much improvement! I was a very happy birthday girl!

After running St. George, following a heavy race year, I didn't slow down until I was forced to. Didn't listen to my body until it was too late. Over training syndrome left me with a less than desirable Boston training period. I have had 8 weeks to build my mileage up from zero, train, and taper. I haven't done well with the taper as I was just starting to feel really good and incorporating triple workout days about 2 weeks ago. But this week, I have worked hard to go to bed early (my usual 6 hours of sleep just isn't cutting it) and taking down the intensity/quantity of my workouts. I don't have the usual overwhelming fatigue from marathon training or that crazy itch of tapering. It all feels foreign. Like I'm just preparing to race a quick jaunt in Central Park. I have to keep telling myself to get it together! This is Boston I am racing! Need to get focused!

Who knows what will happen as I toe the line? I probably won't decide until the last minute just how hard I want to push. Just how much pain I want to endure! But I do secretly want a sub-3. I just don't know if my training will take me there. So we will see come Monday.

Good luck to everyone racing! Remember to save some steam for the hills! In the words of my running partner, " May the course be with you."

Living to Run and Running to Live

The last few weeks of running have been going great! I am definitely feeling better and ready to pick up my training. Only problem is that it's now time to taper for Boston...

Here's a highlight of some of my favorite running days over the last few weeks....

March 17th: I ran the NYC half for the first time. However, I made the mistake of not bringing throw-away clothes to the start and was frozen solid....teeth chattering....and visibly shaking...not a good way to start.

I had planned on running with my friend Carlos, but we never found each other in the swarm of people. So I ran by myself. I started out slow, partially due to being conservative and due to the fact that my hips and feet hurt from people so cold. Then I slowly picked up the pace to what felt comfortable. I wasn't racing, just running. I finished in 1:33:05 (just over 4 minutes away from a PR), with a full out sprint in the last 200m. I wasn't sore or tired. Great! I did it right! I was left with confidence that maybe my speed isn't as far away as I think it is.

March 21st: I had the opportunity to run with City Coach, a multisport group under the tutelage of Coach Jonathan Cane and Nicole Sin Quee (a.k.a. Mrs. Coach Cane, NSQ). I had been looking forward to this run for a few months as it was my only available Thursday in quite some time due to having class. My friend Deanna runs with them and always raves about them...I wasn't left disappointed! The group is so nice...smack talk and all! The workout was hard! I had a blast! Can't wait to go back for more! And more! And more!

March 24th: I embarked on the famous "4 Bridges Run" weaving through Manhattan, Brooklyn, and Queens with a small group led by Deanna. It was a blast! My longest run in a while...22 miles...and my final 20ish miler before Boston.

Shoe war...Brooks won!

My friend Jonathan and I wanted to go a little faster, and not completely knowing the route, ended up taking a detour due to a wrong turn, but that's all part of the adventure. Then we picked up the pace a bit more at the finish. It felt great...well, at least when he didn't insist on talking because I couldn't talk and breath at that pace! But I have to say, the best part was the food reward at the finish! We had the best breakfast ever! Breakfast burritos from the Indian Road Cafe in Inwood. I can't wait to go again!

March 27th: Jonathan and I got up early and ran the previous nights Central Park Track Club workout (he runs for them). I nearly died! It consisted of a warm-up, 1600m, 1200m, 1000m, 800m, 600m, 400m, with 200m recovery between each sprint. I was exhausted from running/lifting/spin the night before, and Jonathan had spikes on so I lagged behind. Problem solved though! I bought some spikes! Nice orange and leopard print Brooks...can't wait to get them!

March 30th: I completed my final long run of Boston training, 16 miles. It was pure torture, and yet I enjoyed it...go figure. I went out the night before with a girlfriend, Danielle, from college whom I hadn't seen in 9 years. We had a great sushi dinner and then decided to go to a hookah lounge after. It was a blast! We drank a lot, something that I rarely indulge in as I try to eat clean. And danced a lot.

The next morning, I had a throbbing headache and felt dehydrated, but had intended on my long run so decided to go anyways. I stayed the night with Danielle as she was very close to Central Park and it offered me a change of scenery for my long run. I really thought the water foundations would be working by now since winter is over. Major fail on my part! I embarked on the run without a water bottle or money. My mouth was painfully dry! I tried hard to ignore it, but by mile 12, I couldn't take it anymore, I couldn't swallow. I ran to a small cafe (Le Pain Quotidien) in the middle of the park for a cup of tap water, probably should have done it early, but was being stubborn. It felt like the best drink I had had in my life! I immediately felt energized, but my mouth was dry again in minutes. After the run, I was quite sore. Probably a combination of the dehydration and my weight session from the day before. I always forget side lunges are my nemesis and make me hurt for days. All in all though, I really enjoyed being able to run in a t-shirt, it was the first warm day in quite some time. Can't wait for the warm weather to continue!

It has been a great few weeks! I am living to run and running to live!

No pressure...it's just for fun...

Tomorrow is the NYC Half. When I signed up for it, I had intended to try for a PR. That was before my diagnosis of overtraining syndrome. I am feeling quite bummed that I am not up to speed, that I have lost so much fitness when I had so many goals I wanted to accomplish this year.

I had to take most of December and January off due to my CK constantly going up following exercise. Plus repeated episodes of tachycardia. When I was finally feeling better, I was left with one month to train for NYC and two months to train for Boston. That meant I also had to simultaneously build my mileage back up. With little time to do so, I realize my build-up was done a lot quicker than I should have. However, I listened to my body and opted for some easier runs or cutting out my cross training and/or weight sessions. I am determined not to get injured.

As of right now, I can't even decide how easy, or how hard I want to run tomorrow. Part of me wants to push it as hard as I can, but part of me just wants to enjoy the race. My current tempo pace is the same as my marathon pace from October, so I know that if I opted to race, I wouldn't be able to run faster than that. I wouldn't even come close to a PR.

I may not have my speed back, but I do have most of my endurance back as evidenced an amazing 20 miler last weekend. I went home to Vermont and ran to a friend's house the next couple of town's over. I started at 6:45 a.m. I didn't realize how cold it was until I stopped to take a picture of the newly rebuilt Bartonsville covered bridge (my favorite part of running home, which was destroyed by hurricane Irene). My iPhone decided it was just too cold to function and powered off...along with my music. This was after 5.5 miles. I had to keep going. I quickly realized that running without music allowed me to set my own pace in a smoother way and that I ran more comfortably. I also soon realized that my water was frozen in the tube of my hydration pack. Lucky for me (I was freaking out a little) it only took an hour or so for the sun to melt it. So, I ran and ran, feeling free...and getting many funny looks. I don't think people are used to seeing a little running person with a backpack on a small highway. Oh well...I finished those 20 miles of rolling hills in close to an 8-minute pace...with a smile.

The only thing that is keeping me motivated to race tomorrow is the company of one of my favorite running buddies. We ran the San Blas Half marathon in Puerto Rico together last year. The heat and the hills were torture, but his company made it a fabulous run. Not to mention he is a fantastic athlete. Here is a little conversation we had after he ran a sub-6 minute pace in the hilly Coogan's 5k a couple of weeks ago.

I love friendships that are mutually inspirational!

I realize it's probably best to take it easy tomorrow given the high volume of last year and the resulting burnout. On top of my inadequate training going into the race. I have nothing to prove at the moment, so I shouldn't put so much pressure on myself to perform. I should just enjoy the race. So my goal of a 1:25 in NYC and a sub-3 in Boston aren't in the cards this time around.

Off with a bang, onto a thud...but what a year

I have attempted to write this post multiple times over the last few weeks, but the app on my iPhone crashed and then it crashed on my iPad. So alas I have been forced to re-write it repeatedly. Hopefully it still has the same passion it did when I originally wrote it...

This has been my best racing year yet! A couple weeks ago, my club (VCTC) acknowledged me for my efforts, by rewarding me with the 30-39 AG award for the year, in one of the most competitive age groups. I couldn't be happier! I finally earned it! In 2010, my first full year as a member, I tied with another great athlete in the 20-29 age group. Then in 2011, for the same age group, a mistake was made as my race times were misplaced in the slew of statistics being analyzed. Of course mistakes happen, and there were so many amazing accomplishments by my teammates that year, as with every year. Coach Ken felt horrible. I always say everything happens for a reason. The award means more to me this year than any other year! I had the honor of of winning in a year where two people, who had great influence on my running, were also recognized for their unbelievable years.

Jill Staats:
My New York City mother. I love this woman and her family...I mean who doesn't love her wonderful husband Norris. From the moment we met at my first VCTC post-Saturday run ritual of breakfast at Short Stop, there was a connection. Maybe it was easy because I already knew her sister who was one of my professors at Columbia. Or maybe it's just because she really lives up to her title of being the "mother hen" to the ladies of the club. Jill is always there for you no matter what. She was the one who talked me into signing up for my first race only two months after I joined the club, the Fred Lebow 5-miler in January 2010. Well this amazing women had the most amazing year, which ended with the award for Female Runner of the Year!

Jill placed 1st AG fourteen times, 2nd AG six times, and 3rd AG twice in distances ranging from 5ks to half marathons. She also improved her AG PR to a whopping 82.12% at the 5th Ave Mile. And to top of a fabulous year of racing, she was nominated by NYRR for their 60-64 AG Female Runner of the Year. What a well deserved honor!

David Isaac:
I am sure I David previous my fateful first race in Central Park, but my first memory of him is when he ran up next to me and asked if I wanted company. I of course, jumped at the chance since I had no idea how I would make it through 5 miles at blistering cold temps. That was the beginning of a lasting friendship, where we trained together and raced together throughout the year. Well until I got too fast and needed to train at speeds David was unaccustomed to. This year, however, he has made great headway in catching up to me.

David set ten PR’s in 2012, ranging in distances from a 5k to full marathon. He worked hard to crush the 4-hour marathon mark, dropping his time from 4:02 to 3:53 and then went back out to run 3:45 only six weeks later. And for the bling lover that he is, he won his first AG award, 1st place none the less, in a December NYC Runs 10k. And best of all, for me that is, we can run together again!

I couldn't be more proud of my teammates!

Now for my year...
I dabbled in triathlon, ultra running, and of course, marathons and road races in 2012. Like David, I also set ten PRs. I ran a 19:40 5k at the end of my first triathlon only three weeks after a marathon, earning fastest female runner. Then three weeks after that accomplishment, I ran my first 50 miler, finishing in 8:47:59 and placing 2nd OV, but 3rd finisher. That's right!...I beat all the guys but one! Then at my second triathlon, a race in the middle of marathon training just for fun, I came in 1st OV. I also placed 1st, 2nd, and 3rd OV in three different 5ks throughout the year, one as part of a long run and another just 45 minutes after a 5 mile race. However, the 1st place that meant the most was during my tune-up half marathon in September, The Bird-in-a-Hand Half. After running this beautiful hilly course through Amish county, I was handed my award by none other than Bart Yasso, who informed me I have a very bright future. That was definitely a highlight! Finally came my quad smashing marathon in St. George where I ran it in 3:01:25, a 22 minute PR.

Of course, all good things must come to an end. I finished the year with overtraining syndrome. I'm not sure if it had as much to do with my training as it did the high level of stress in my life. I often bite of more than I can chew....full-time work at a busy clinic, part-time grad school, and training...oh, and I can't forget my family and friends. Still, I couldn't be more proud of myself and am confident I will be back stronger than ever! I couldn't do it without the support of my friends and teammates!

Overtrained...fatigued, foggy, failed

The last few months have been treacherous. After my marathon at the beginning of October, I took a 10 day break from running, but still cross trained my heart out with spin, stairs, elliptical, weights, and yoga. Once I started running again, I felt sluggish and couldn't get my speed back. My quads were heavy and didn't want to respond. I tried to take it easy, reminding myself of my fabulous marathon. I had worked hard and was rewarded, now was the time to reward my body for its efforts.

Then in early November, I went home to meet my niece and something clicked. I love running the dirt roads in Vermont! I felt free! My speed returned with ease. I ran faster than before. Running long runs faster than I should, but unable to get my body or soul to slow down. On my return from Vermont, I headed to Tucson for a conference. More great scenery to take in. More hills to run. Again, I ran faster than I should. 

I got home from this trip a few days before Thanksgiving, feeling like I was getting sick. I was registered for a turkey trot, so decided to rest a bit before the race. On race day, I still couldn't shake the fatigue and body aches, but made my way to the starting line ready to will my legs through the 5 mile course. I felt fine until mile 3, when my quads decided they were done. I couldn't feel them anymore. I ran with my heart, not allowing my legs to stop, all the way to a PR and 2nd AG finish (there was some fierce competition for a turkey trot).

After the race, a dear friend gave her opinion on my symptoms. I was over trained and should monitor my resting heart rate. So I dutifully checked it every morning for the next few days. It had gone up from 52 to 56...not too bad, but still a sign that I needed to rest. I had another race a few days later. I had no desire to run this 5 mile race around Central Park, but felt obligated to run as it was a points race for local running clubs. As one of the top women in my club, I needed to help them score in the final race of the year, which would determine the winning team overall. So, I planned a much needed break to begin after the race. Well, I should say after the 5k I did minutes after the 5 miler...what can I say? I have an addiction. 

The 5 miler was horrible, my legs were done and my heart didn't want to run, but the 5k was great! That probably has to do with the fact that it was my husband's first race. I wanted to get done as quickly as possible so I could cheer him to the finish. My heart took over that race, not allowing me to stop. No PRs that day, but one of the best racing days yet as I shared the sport I love with the man I love.

When I got home from all that racing, I planned out a 10 day juicing cleanse. I figured cleaning out my system and boosting my body with a mega dose of nutrients would aid in my recovery. I engaged in minimal exercise, only doing yoga and one slow 5 mile run a week, mostly just put of socialization. I felt great initially, but then started to feel worse. 

I was trying to study for my microeconomics final, but couldn't concentrate. I couldn't focus. I would doze off studying, head bobbing, only to give up and go to bed...but couldn't fall asleep. I was exhausted all the time. I had a burning knot in my shoulder that brought tears to my eyes. My muscles ached and cried from fatigue. Massage did nothing but make it worse. And the headaches were never ending. All this, on top of a lack of appetite. For those, who know me well, I love to eat. I ended up going to the doctor's, something I rarely do, but was scared something serious was ailing my body. She did a battery of tests to determine the cause, ruling out Lyme's disease, lupus, thyroid disease, etc. While I waited for the results, I continued my futile attempts at studying.

The next day, she called me because the lab informed her that one my tests had a critical value. My creatinine kinase, or CK, was 1660, four times the upper limit of normal. CK is an indicator of muscle break down and although, mine wasn't high enough to result in rhabdomyolosis, it had to come down. I was prescribed full rest until further notice. No cross training, stretching, massage, or sauna...just plenty of fluids and relaxation. All this just in time to head to Vermont for the holidays. After a stressful semester and a few months of chaos at work due to displacement by the hurricane, I was ready for a break and looking forward to running at home. Oh, well, now I would just have to spend all my free time relaxing with my niece. Oh, and as you might have guessed, I pretty much failed that final. I was horrified, but still passed the class with a low B. Even if I had not been sick, I still would have struggled as economics is not for me. And to think it was an elective...I guess I wasn't thinking...

After a nice break in the country, I was ready to run, but of course a snow storm forced us to stay a little longer, causing me to miss my follow-up appointment just before a long holiday weekend. So, I had to wait a few more days. When I finally saw her, my labs were back to normal so after 20 days of inactivity, I was finally able to work out. Slowly....

I am working hard to get back to where I left off, but it seems to be progressing slower than I expected. I get nervous that maybe I didn't rest long enough as it can take months to recover. I keep getting muscle aches, but those might be due to starting up again. Maybe a massage will help, and more foam rolling. What bothers me the most though, is that my heart rate continues to be elevated, both resting and through out the day. I have been monitoring it during my workouts and it seems to slowly be coming down. I'm trying to be patient. I'm trying to be easier on myself. But it's not easy for this over achiever.

In retrospect, one might look at all my training and racing for the year and consider that the culprit. I ran my first 50 miler, my first tri, and then another one, 2 marathons, 3 half marathons, and 8 shorter races, all intertwined within 10 months of nonstop training. I think I probably could have handled that alone, but then you add a full-time job and part-time school, both of which add another degree of stress with and of themselves. Clinic has been exceptionally busy. I am constantly pressured to meet deadlines for grants, while also providing the best clinical care possible. Then we were displaced due to the hurricane, greatly affecting our productivity, and increasing the pressure once we were allowed back into our offices. Finding time to focus on a subject that didn't completely make sense, something extracurricular, became very difficult. Yet, I am a perfectionist and place a great deal of pressure on myself to do well in school. On top of that was family stress. My little sister was having her first child. I was becoming an aunt. I wanted more than anything to be there, but was stuck in New York due to my hectic schedule and then the hurricane. What I am trying to say is, I think the excessive stress I endured the last few months was toxic and played a large role in my over training syndrome. It's not just about physical stress that the body endures, but also mental stress.

Moving forward, I am learning to take time for myself. To sit in the present moment, breath, and just be. As my favorite mantra goes..."So Hum"....I am all that is.

Here are a few signs and symptoms of over training syndrome to look out for:

• changes in blood pressure
• changes in heart rate at rest, during exercise, and during recovery
• increased frequency of respiration
• decreased lean body mass
• reduced appetite
• nausea
• gastrointestinal disturbance
• changes in sleep pattern
• constant fatigue
• complaints of muscle and joint aches and pains
• muscle soreness tenderness
• depression
• decreased self-esteem
• decreased motivation, lack of desire for sport
• loss of coordination
• difficulty concentrating
• headaches
• swelling of lymph glands
• increased susceptibility to and severity of illness, colds, and allergies